Are you feeling a bit disconnected these days? Wedding planning is supposed to be fun, but all you can seem to talk about is what colour the bridesmaid dresses need to be or what dessert you will have. You are not alone! Most brides feel like they can’t seem to escape the pressure of all the decisions that come with planning a wedding. But this stress can make you feel like you and your fiancé haven’t found a moment to connect and talk about something not wedding related. I know you want to feel connected on your wedding day, so how do you survive the months of planning when romance feels lost? How do you keep your love alive during your engagement?
Here are 8 tips for keeping the love connection alive during your engagement:
Plan a weekly date night.
Essentially have fun together without talking about the wedding! I would make this a semi strict rule. You don’t want to feel restricted and unnatural, but you also do not want you wedding planning to infiltrate every aspect of your relationship. If something is pressing, get it out of the way in the first 10 minutes, then enjoy each other and have fun!
Create a list of fun hobbies you like to do together, and then do them!
Each make a list of 10 things you love to do, compare with each other and make plans to do the ones that overlap! A super simple activity that will leave you with more ideas of what you can do together instead of the usual “let’s hang out at your/my place”.
Take time for yourself.
Even though this does not include your fiancé, you will enable yourself to feel like you, and not just “the bride”. Plan for quiet times to read or journal. Maybe time out in nature like going for a walk. Give yourself space from all the planning and you will stay more in tuned with yourself and therefore more in tune with your fiancé.
Hang out with friends.
Sometimes it feels like all your time is wrapped up in DIY projects and seating charts… include your friends! Making 100 paper flowers is a lot more fun with a movie, wine and people you love then by yourself. This will also remind you that your fiancé is not the only person out there that is with you in the wedding planning. Most brides have great family and friends that are more than willing to help; in fact, they would love to be asked! This takes the pressure off your fiancé to be there for everything, and makes you feel that you are really supported. Trust me; it will be great for your relationship.
Have regular wedding planning meetings.
Knowing there is time to discuss wedding planning with your fiancé on the calendar will take off a lot of stress but also allow you to keep most of those conversations within that meeting. Both agree on how frequent and how long these meetings will be and try and get as much done as you can! You will be more productive then you think, and everyone likes that!
Surprise each other.
Sometimes when you are engaged the romance dies a little because you are heading to this big event of commitment. The pressure is off, you have decided to commit to each other. But, you don’t want to lose the playful romantic side either. This can be as simple as picking up a Starbucks on the way to pick up your fiancé, buying hockey tickets as a surprise date one night or planning a day away just the two of you. Keep the romance alive during engagement, it will help keep you connected and it will set you up to do the same during your marriage.
Call just to say “hi”.
Sometimes calls become mini business meetings to make some quick wedding decisions or check in to make sure your fiancé is getting everything done he said he would. Instead, make it a habit to call just to see how his day is going. He will appreciate the fact that every call you make is not wedding related, and feel like you actually care about him and his life.
Start a new workout regime.
Most brides have some kind of health goal for their wedding day. Engagement is a great time to make some goals and go after it. The time is limited and the goal date is a huge celebration so what better time to make some progress on your health! You will also feel super sexy and confident during your engagement which actually will build connection between you and your fiancé. Bonus, you feel amazing on your wedding day and you know your fiancé will want to run you out of that reception early to get you all to himself 😉
Your engagement can be one of the best seasons of your life! I hope you try some of these tips and keep your love alive during your engagement.
About the Author
Lauren Harnett CPC, ACC – Relationship Coach
Lauren has been walking alongside couples for eight years as they prepare for their big day. So many times we think of all the pieces that need to be in place externally for a wonderful wedding to happen, but Lauren’s focus is on what is happening internally for her clients. Whether she is providing premarital coaching (a wonderful alternative to traditional counselling or faith-based programs) or bridal coaching, Lauren loves to support the souls of brides and grooms as they get ready for their big day. Formally trained by iPEC and recognized by the ICF Lauren is professional yet personable and the perfect resource for anyone who is engaged.
Find more of Lauren’s work here https://www.clearviewcoaching.ca